ubiquitous

UBIQUITOUS

Existing or being everywhere, esp. at the same time; omnipresent

ingravescent

INGRAVESCENT

A medical term used of illnesses growing worse or more severe. Suggested for use instead as a descriptive for your less savoury acquaintances. "So how is James these days?" "Oh, ingravescent, I'm afraid.. distinctly ingravescent." 

sardonic

SARDONIC

Scornful, mocking; disdainfully or ironically humorous. "You know James you are quite the intellect, that is, when you're not liking windows."

calefacient

CALEFACIENT

A medicinal agent producing a feeling of warmth. "Calefacient, anyone?" you ask while reaching for the single malt.

dyslogy

DYSLOGY

Dispraise; uncomplimentary remarks. "Right guys, let's hear it for James! I want to hear the dyslogy he so richly deserves!"